What to say...

There is a lot of things I've wanted to write on this blog... but then I stop and think, What if someone reads this? and i realize that is only half the question. The other half is What if nobody does? Yes I would rather keep most of my thoughts private but there's others that I wish someone would read. Like the fact that I've never had a best friend and as much as I laugh it off, I kinda want one. But It's my fault that I don't because i haven't let anybody come that close. Or that while some girls dream of their wedding my only dream was to go to prom. But I would give anything to erase last year because my Mom found out that I wanted to go and asked people to take me. As if that wasn't embarassing. And I know no one will ask me so I'll go alone and wonder why I ever wanted to go. Or that I've moved so much that I've become calluoesed when it comes to people and every time I've said I miss you it's just empty words. Or that no matter what I do I seem stuck in the worst and best days of my life. These are some of the things I'm afraid someone will read yet afraid they won't.